That Darn Cat
by RedAlert98
Summary: "It was the cat;" Roy's go-to excuse for when Dick and Wally are around (and aren't supposed to be). Humor, Shenanigans, Friendship, Rated T for safety


"Don't worry Mrs. Higgins, It's just the cat -"

A common excuse for a regular rule being broken - all visitors in Roy's apartment building were required to be signed in or out.

Well, Wally and Dick weren't much for 'rules'.

Roy had gone out to do Mrs. Higgins' weekly errands (something she insisted paying him for but he always refused), and she had noticed sounds coming from Roy's apartment right next door. Mrs. Higgins was slightly deaf, but still noticed the thumps, and possibly even music, from the other side of the wall, and had called Roy.

"Dear, I think there's music playing, and I heard a door slam; should I call the police? You might have a burglar!" He was informed by her anxious, louder-than-need-be voice; Roy sighed. He sure liked the little old gal, but she could be a worry wart and Wally and Dick didn't make it easier on him.

"No, really, the cat sometimes will turn the stereo on by accident, and she probably knocked something over - I'm sure it's fine. I'll be back in 30 minutes with your stuff."

*ding* - his phone went off:

W: you're out of toilet paper.

Now that was bull. He had bought a 24 pack 2 days ago. Either someone had gone nuclear in the bathroom…or they had toilet papered the apartment.

Dammit.

"Oh, well, I'll have to meet your kitty sometime then!" She exclaimed, sounding much perkier.

After he hung up he immediately called Dick, who didn't answer. Roy quickly typed out a threat and a promise, sending it to the trio's group message.

Upon getting home, he found ABBA playing on the speakers, his apartment completely littered with streamers of toilet paper, and a note that said "it was Wally's idea".

Damn 'cat'

…

Troublemakers in Chief had let themselves into Roy's apartment through the window, egg rolls being the main reason.

Thanks to Dick's mad coupon skills they had been able to get a freezer full of frozen egg rolls for half the price, and since they were bought a mile away from Roy's place, thats where they would be stored.

Unfortunately, it had only been 24 hours since beaming Roy with an apple, and Roy was still out for blood. Hence, the 'break in' while he was gone (even though this is always how they let themselves in)

After helping themselves to a dozen and a half of the previously mentioned frozen delicacies, they heard the front door being unlocked - there were two voices, Roy's and an unknown female.

Wally grabbed Dick and zipped into the closet in the living room, leaving behind a few flying papers and the smell of warm egg rolls.

Roy and a woman came in the front door laughing about something, and then the lady flirtatiously asked, "So, do you have any handcuffs?"

Wally and Dick could practically hear the smirk as Roy said, "As a matter of fact…"

Both had horrified looks on their faces as they stood confined in the small, dark closet.

Due to the footsteps they could tell that the pair had gone a few feet into the bedroom, in which Dick decided was their cue to make like a tree and leave -

Grabbing onto Wally's sleeve, he threw the closet door open, pulling the both of them forward and banging his shin on a coffee table in the process. Flinging the window open, he practically leapt outside, yet still managing to land and balance on the 2nd story ledge. Wally was close behind and a little more unsteady; Dick made sure he didn't fall. The sturdy tree limb made the rest of their getaway a breeze.

Roy's 'friend', Gloria, in the meantime had yelped and exclaimed, "What the hell?!" in reaction to all the racket being made - Roy ran into the living room, taking in the evidence of a hasty getaway and somehow only just then noticing the leftover smell of egg rolls.

"Was someone in here!?" Gloria asked, bewildered and coming out of the bedroom to look at everything too.

"No…." Roy trailed off, speaking through clenched teeth, "It was the cat."

…

Oliver was sat in Roy's faded couch, trying to convince his former partner about something regarding the team.

Annoyed, Roy was having nothing of it, and was dropping very unsubtle cues that it was time for his mentor to go.

When there was a sudden 'BANG' from what seemed like the air ducts, Oliver looked up to the ceiling and then shot the redhead a questioning glance.

A distant, muffled voice muttered, "sh*t", able to be heard through the AC vent, and there was more banging around; before Ollie could even ask, Roy deadpanned,

"It's the cat."

* * *

2nd time trying out this story, hope ya like it :)

All of my updates recently have been written and posted in the middle of the night, resulting in some pretty sleep deprived errors with grammar, spelling and whatnot XD It's literally stuff like, "Riiiight, the poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison." XD

pls forgive any errors, I am but a humble writer


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